The free time dillema. Are we doing it wrong?

Whenever I catch myself watching TV or browsing the Internet on my days off, I can’t help but feel like I'm smashing with a hammer a very precious cargo. Most days I end up wasting time trying to figure out what to do with it. It has to be something meaningful and intelligent with just the right amount of fun, that would leave me feeling both productive and refreshed.

Nine times out of ten, weekends exhaust me more than the work week in itself.

Those two days are jam-packed with workouts, reading sessions, museum and theater visits. To top it off, my husband and I split cleaning and meal preparation duties. There are days though, when all I want is to linger in bed, binge-watch TV shows on Netflix and eat Twinkies. Here’s the rub: they turn me into a ball of anxiety. How can this add value to my life? Am I properly nourishing my intellect? Maybe I should read a book or do some strength training instead; I heard it can prevent osteoporosis. Apparently, this is a common issue among people of my age.

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After seeing their parents making poor decision about pretty much everything from health to finances, Millennials, those born between 1982 and 2004, don’t allow themselves to take breaks from self-development.

At times, it may seem all they do is stare at a smartphone, but studies show they are avid readers as well, with an average of ten books devoured per year. Additionally, they love to max out free time by traveling. According to a nationwide survey by PGAV Destinations called “Meet the Millennials”, 58% say they travel for leisure with friends – 20 percent more than older generations. Knowledge is once again factored in when planning for a trip. “They do not take leisure trips ‘just because,’ but are looking for something that resonates with their need to make a difference,” explains Mike Konzen, Principal, PGAV Destinations.

Dress codes are the only reason Millennials tend to shy away from museums. “They don’t know if it’s appropriate to wear jeans,” said Meryl Levitz of the Greater Philadelphia Tourism Marketing Corporation in a Forbes article.

But no matter how enlightening such activities can be, regardless of age, our brains sometimes demand a hefty dose of plain old fun. Researchers from Direct Line Insurance discovered that, in order to be happy, we need seven hours of free time a day. Since this doesn’t jibe with real-life hectic schedules, they came up with a more flexible plan. It allows for one hour of TV watching, 18 minutes each for checking social media and online perusing plus a little over an hour of extra personal time. In other words, you truly can have your cake and eat it too.

Besides, playtime is not only enjoyable, but crucial for emotional development since early childhood. Peter Gray, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at Boston College thinks that “adults who did not have the opportunity to experience moderately challenging emotional situations during play are more at risk for feeling anxious and overwhelmed by emotion-provoking situations in adult life”.

The U.S. hourly payment system doesn’t do much to ease adulthood's angst about off days. “Time is money”, a saying deeply ingrained in our collective belief system, urges us to be productive even when we should take it easy.

Women, especially, have trouble enjoying their leisure time. “The meaning of free time for men and women are quite different. Among mothers, free time may be too entangled with care-giving to be the ‘pause that refreshes,’” thinks Liana Sayer, assistant professor of sociology at Ohio State University and co-author of the study about gender differences regarding free time perception.

Conversely, in the last decade, more and more companies started to adopt friendly time management policies to avoid overworking their employees. Hubspot, Ask.com or Glasdoor, for example, offer unlimited vacation days to their workers. Others, like Expensify, spoil employees with exotic trips to expensive retreats and let’s not forget about Boogie; they embraced the 4-days work week model. These kinds of perks translates in low levels of stress and better productivity, which goes to show relaxation is a necessity, not a whim.

So what’s the best way to spend free time anyway? One must turn to psychologist in order to find the answer. Their latest discoveries speak volumes: go to concerts, trips, take piano lessons; invest in experiences. An article publish in the journal Psychological Science in September revealed that experiences bring people more happiness than possessions, in part thanks to the anticipation factor. “You can think about waiting for a delicious meal at a nice restaurant and how different that feels from waiting for, say, your pre-ordered iPhone to arrive," the authors explained.

Basically, what they are saying is, next time you have some free time on your hands, use it wisely. Go out and do something you think would make a great memory one month or five years from now.