Four band-aid tricks for a drama-free marriage

There are times when shortcuts are much appreciated: dry shampoo for a bad hair day, boxed cake mix for last-minute guests, Skype sessions with out-of-state friends. They may not be the real deal, but they save us a lot of trouble by getting the job done. 

So why not apply the same principle to marriage? Here are some tricks from my four year marriage that hopefully will help keep your marriage run like clockwork:

Enjoy take-out at least once a week. Do yourself a favor and order some Chinese once in a while. It’s not going to break your wallet, but this simple splurge will do wonders for your mood by taking off your shoulders the burden of coming up with meals ideas on a weekday night.
In addition to that, my husband and I like to share a bottle of wine every other Friday night.  It’s the perfect way to unwind after a busy week, while keeping the love fire burning. Scientists agree too. A 2012 study performed by a team from the University of Otago in New Zealand revealed that couples who share a bottle of wine at least once a week, increase their chances for a blissful, long-lasting marriage.  

Pretend you are listening even if you’re bored to death. My brain shuts down the minute my husband starts blabbing about work, because my creative self cannot process all the technicalities of his job. Faking interest is my way of saying “I care enough to protect your feelings”. I promise it doesn’t kill you to stay still for a couple of minutes and nod in agreement.  Heck, if you’re feeling extra attentive, throw in there some reassuring comments like “Interesting!” or “That’s fascinating!” 
According to a recent study, there’s no need to feel guilty about telling small lies like this one. In fact, they might strengthen your relationship. Robin Dunbar, an evolutionary psychologist at Oxford University, believes lying to protect gets you emotionally closer to the other person. 

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Skip the marital therapist; play some family games. Cheating or money issues are no longer the most common reasons why people divorce. Instead, trivial reasons like a capless toothpaste tube or a snoring habit can make or break a marriage. It’s called a “cumulative effect” and according to Nancy Nicolson, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychiatry and psychology at Maastricht University in the Netherlands, may be even harmful for a marriage than a bigger disagreement. 
A solution we found to work is playing simple household games. For every “mistake” (something that each other does and really gets on our nerves), we get a black point. Whoever has the most points at the end of the week gets to do the nastiest household chores. Sound childish, but it works like a charm. Bonus: your house will look neat and clean.  

Schedule intimacy. More often than we care to admit sex takes a back seat in our hectic, modern lives. Putting bread on the table and getting kids fed and clean drains your energy supplies so much that the simple thought of intimacy feels like a burden, rather than a treat. If you are waiting for something magical to happen, prepare to get a major disappointment. 
What you can do is pull out your appointment book and joint down weekly sexual encounters. Janice Epp, Ph.D., dean of the Institute for Advanced Studies of Human Sexuality in San Francisco gives you green light on this one: “Sex is perfectly natural but it's not always naturally perfect. You plan other things in your life and you don’t complain about it. Do the same with sex.”